You live in a wicked world and such is its wickedness that many people do not even recognize the degree of its depravity. You must morally re-arm yourselves, for without this central spiritual core of high morality you cannot hope to defeat the Devil and all His works.
Clearly the first step is to see the world in terms of deeply opposed good and evil once again. The worst believers are those who, as St. Paul said, are neither hot nor cold. Infidels are at least clear-cut and you can convert or exterminate them. But lukewarm, dissembling, outwardly pious folk who nevertheless seldom attend church, do not bring their children up to be zealous, who equivocate on moral issues, who will not accept Christ fully into their hearts to redeem them, these are the real danger and must be flushed out.
This world is a moral battleground and people, as in war, are either for us or against us. There can be no greys (or gays, for that matter, with their ambivalent sexuality), no awkward ambiguities and half opinions, all is either white – Christian, pure, right, wholesome, blessed – or black – non-Christian, impure, wrong, unwholesome, damned and Evil. So you should push for these good and pure things, and shun the works of the Devil in every sphere of life.
We will not go into detail over this since you are already doing a good job rolling back the permissive and over-tolerant world of the 1960’s, when the corruptions of too much sudden wealth and individualism so quickly sapped away the foundations of Christ’s world. Those obscene scenes of licence and debauchery, of relativist thought and action, where anything goes and nothing is certain: all that has got to go. You have to make a bonfire of the vanities and burn them to cinders. Yet it may be helpful to you to if we give a few examples which we draw from our the thoughts and actions of our holy father the Pope.
Sex and the absolute right to life
Firstly there is the troubled matter of sex. Sex has been turned into an industry and a frivolous and licentious matter. It has been debased into mere bodily carnality, a means to pleasure rather than an expression of God’s love. It is gross, revolting, demeaning and everywhere. It haunts your media and your dreams, it drives your economy, it perverts pure young minds, it even intrudes into your prayers. It has got completely out of hand. So you must crack down on the extremes.
Clearly you cannot do anything much about the sex industry itself, since much of your revenue comes from clubs and bars, advertizing, the media and so on, and most goods are sold by using sex in your western countries. To attack this would also be an infringement of human rights. It might also have the unfortunate effect of turning people from the enjoyments which divert their minds from criticizing you, to leaving them with more time to look at and question their world. No, leave pornography alone.
What we are thinking of is the obscene practice of interfering in the outcome of sex. We note that some of you have already withdrawn funding from organizations that encourage people in poor countries to avoid conception. That is a good start. It may be unfortunate that doing so takes away one of the main ways of combating AIDS, but Christ moves in mysterious ways and perhaps that is a blessing in disguise. Making it impossible for millions of poor people to engage in the vile practices of contraception which interferes with God’s will, will lead to numerous unwanted children, but many will die of AIDS, so that will balance things out. The guilt is not on your hands. If possible, try to extend the pressure against contraception more widely, close down family planning clinics, dis-invest in contraceptive research, shut down education on the subject.
To carry on along this line, let us remind you that all conceptions are blessed, life is in the seed itself (hence the need to halt contraception except by the natural ‘rhythm’ method endorsed by our Holy Father). From this it flows that any tampering or tinkering with a foetus, after the first conception, is Evil. Remember that we paid great attention to this in our original Malleus Maleficarum, singling out sexual offences and writing whole sections (quote a little? XX) to the way in which Satan and witches aborted foetuses and helped midwives commit infanticide. This is therefore a crucial area of concern.
The idea that women have rights over their own bodies, that they are anything more than vessels for God’s purpose, is obscene and must be squashed. All abortions, whatever the length of gestation, must be made illegal. Those who help women in this way should be treated like the witches who did the same thing. They must be imprisoned, and tortured if necessary to find out their accomplices. And if capital punishment for them may be a bit extreme, you should be lenient to those vigilantes who are already expressing their Christian indignation by bombing and assassinating such evil doers. There must be no grey areas in your treatment of the human body. All life is sacred, there must be no interference, let the fruits of evil intercourse be born.
As for what happens after birth that is not your concern. People have brought their misfortunes on themselves. If they will indulge in lust, if they will be feckless, poor, ill-educated, that is their decision. If the infants suffer and grow up deprived and stunted through lack of support they will provide a useful warning to others not to go around having illegitimate and unwanted children. Your duty is clear. While the foetus is in the womb, it is to the foetus, the precious life given by Christ, to the total exclusion of the mother, that we owe our duty. The mother, as many societies have correctly observed, is really only a kind of oven within which the child is baked. If the mother was raped, if the child is diagnosed as having a dreadful illness, you should still not allow abortions. It is a clear matter of right and wrong.
Then, when it is born, you should not interfere with Christ’s work. You have saved the life, it has its chance, it can sink or swim. You have averted murder, loosed the living being into the world where he or she and her parents must fend for themselves. This is the Holy Father’s way, and it should be yours. Anything else is the narrow end of a wedge which leads to unspeakable Evil, to the gas chambers and euthanasia.
How to be tough on crime, not the supposed causes of crime
Another area where you must be black and white is in relation to crime. There was an unfortunate period in the 1960’s onwards when relativistic disciplines like criminology, sociology and the other thinly disguised atheistical tendencies tried to persuade us that you should pay attention to the causes of crime. They tried to shift the victimhood from the victim to the criminal. They went on about the hopelessness, the poverty, the bad education, the joblessness, the drug culture, the unfairness which they claimed drove people to crime. They suggested that unless you tackled these, the problems of crime would continue. This is all patent nonsense. You know what causes crime, it is the Devil.
Basically criminals are Evil. They have wicked hearts which lead them to steal, mug old ladies and so on. You should not ask yourselves what drove them to this, since anyone can trot out excuses. Instead you should frighten and threaten and scold the potential criminals. You should arm your populace, as we are glad to see has happened in America, and arm your police. And if this does not work, you should catch the Evil ones and lock them away permanently out of sight.
We are pleased to see that your legal systems are moving in this direction, that the number of offences is steadily increasing, that the legal protections for these monsters are being whittled away, that ‘the balance is being tipped back’ towards the true victims, as you put it. We are glad to see that you are imprisoning more and more people, one in every 200 of the population in the United States we are told, and that you are building even more prisons and privatising the prison business.
One practical suggestion we might make here is that as the numbers increase, you may need even more space. Your predecessors sent off ship-loads of criminals to Australia and elsewhere. Surely you can find a few islands, perhaps hire a small Japanese island as you do for your military bases, and turn them into penal colonies? You could keep millions locked away in this way in some security, as the South African government did with trouble-making terrorists like Nelson Mandela.
This policy of draconian, ‘we are good and they are totally evil’, and evil for ever without hope of reform, plays very well with your people. Make them terrified of the criminals, arm your police if they are not already, make a parallel to the war on terrorism with a ‘war on crime’, and, to instil a Russian fear in them, call the person in charge a ‘War against crime Czar’, to go with the drugs Czar and all the other Czars who ‘fight’ against the evil ones. The ‘enemies’ here are the sub-class of criminals who fight against, and are entirely separate, from the good and the virtuous whom you represent.
Of course, when we say ‘crime’ you must be careful about what you include. We are talking of the vicious and evil physical crimes against property and the person, burglary, assault and so on. Activities which do not involve a direct physical attack, what you call white collar offences, are an entirely different matter. Indeed it would be better to refine the language so that these are no longer called ‘crimes’ but rather something like ‘breaking the rules’ or ‘infringements’ or ‘petty offences’.
What we mean here are bank fraud, fiddling taxes, corrupt behaviour in compnay law, insider dealing, money laundering, arms dealing, the sort of thing that has unfortunately engulfed large companies like Enron and World.com. Admittedly many of these involve huge sums of money which completely dwarf the petty pilfering and shop-lifting and burglary which are the offences of the people who fill your prisons. But you should not judge in terms of the scale or the rippling effects of the breaking of the rules. If you went down that path, then the murder of thousands in an illegal war might have to be set alongside homicide. What we are talking about is quality, differences of kind.
Your way of capitalist activity depends on trust, honesty, playing by the rules. The rules are complex and ever-changing and the art is to sail so close to the wind that one makes a profit. Occasionally people sail a little too close, or the wind slightly shifts, and the boom swings across and people are hurt. Millions may be hurt, small investors, pensioners, people whose lives are ruined by chemical disasters, people whose lives are destroyed by a flood of illegally imported weapons. But the people who cause these effects are not really criminals. They are just too avid players in the game.
We have had all this argument before in relation to the Holy Papacy, which was accused of many financial and other scams and irregularities. But the Cardinals were not imprisoned, just warned to be more careful in the future.
So, on the moral borderline between good and evil, you can place white collar offenders as basically good, but with a few weaknesses and stupidities which should be gently corrected. But those who in desperation or malice try to take a short-cut out of their situation by stealing a loaf of bread for a starving child, killing an abusive partner, stealing electronic goods to feed their drug addiction, they are perfectly Evil and the hammer must be brought down to crush them.
That these criminals are not just victims of their circumstances, ‘there but for the grace of God’ people, but intrinsically evil, minions of Satan, is well shown and realized by your newspaper editors and large sections of the general public. For instance, in a number of cases when little children of only eleven or twelve killed another child, they are immediately known to have been possessed by the Devil and are beyond redemption. They are pure Evil. There is no question of asking yourselves whether you have had murderous feelings towards friends or relatives or wished them dead. We could not possibly harbour such thoughts.
You are dealing with monsters. They were pure Evil at eleven or twelve and they will always be Evil. They should never be let out of prison. They should suffer for ever. If, unfortunately, some over-lenient judge lets them out, the mob should stone them to death, as it often feels like doing. Likewise the wives, accomplices or other close associates of serial killers are innately Evil for ever. However they dissemble and say they are reformed, they should not be trusted. However much the experts say that they are now different people and no possible threat to society, they are Evil and must not be allowed to come back and contaminate your purity.
How to extend capital punishment
Indeed, as you can see, the proper solution to all this is death. In minor cases, mutilation of limbs, branding so that the mark of Evil is always on them, transportation to another part of the world where they will no longer corrupt us may do. But in more serious cases the death penalty is really the only answer. In earlier periods in your countries, a person who stole goods worth over one shilling would be hanged. Certainly all murderers would be hanged. This excellent punishment, which eliminates the Evil person entirely, extinguishes them, snuffs out the incarnation of the Devil is, we are glad to see, widespread in may parts of your Empires. And we are pleased to see that some of your Christian leaders exercized their judgement in a way which led to hundreds of executions. This is God’s holy work.
Yet, unfortunately, there are wide areas where the death penalty has been abolished. We suggest that to reverse this where it has happened you do not try to bring back too much at once. Start with a few offences which many would agree are particularly horrific, say the murder of a policeman, a small child, terrorism, serial killing. Once there are some capital offences, it is very easy to extend the list, the principle, praise God, having been re-introduced. Nowadays, with your excellent ‘three strikes’ legislation, a person can be imprisoned for twenty years or more for stealing a pizza. Why not capital punishment for such a person?
This would have another advantage. Not only would it extinguish Evil, but it would save money. You should move to the excellent system which China used to have (unfortunately, in emulation of your too lenient practices they are giving this up now), whereby as soon as someone was found guilty they were taken out and shot. No lingering in uncertainty for twenty years on death row. No, a bullet through the head or lethal injection to dispense with them like an animal, which is what they have become. That would certainly lower the prison population and might (though unfortunately studies are not clear on this) act as a deterrent.
The need for self-defence in a world of Evil
What we are driving at in general is the ridding of your society of all greyness, ambiguity, relativism, over-tolerance. All life is sacred – at least until birth. No fiddling there. All property is sacred, at least from the physical attacks by citizens who are not sufficiently trained to use subtler means. As Bob Dylan sang, quite truly for such a dissolute person, far more can be taken from people with a fountain pen than with a gun. All physical bodies are sacred, from assault, attack and so on, or at least from murder. There may, unfortunately need to be beatings in schools and the home, husbands may have to beat their wives to control them, but anyone who murders someone must be exterminated.
The one exception to this is, of course, self-defence. We should punish those who attack others with extreme harshness, and this right should be held by individuals as well as the State. We all have the right to defend ourselves, and if you sincerely believe that you are about to be attacked, you should pre-emptively destroy your attacker. We should not wait until it is too late.
Of course, if it turns out either at the personal or international level that you made a mistake, you should be treated with forgiveness. All humans make mistakes, and you cannot always read the signals correctly. Since your enemies are inspired by Satan they are very cunning. An innocent smile, a suspicious absence of any weapons or any intent may be the most telling sign of an imminent attack. Get your defence in first. As long as it is clear that your motive is not greed or desperation, but rather protecting your way of life and body from the threats of evil people, you will be judged with understanding.
Our approach is that you should think in moral absolutes, excluding all middle of the road, equivocal, ambiguous, arguments. This can be applied to almost all of life. But let us give you two more examples of how to apply this approach.
Cleansing and protecting your purity against intruders
Your way of life is threatened by hordes of people with strange beliefs and customs, who do not necessarily share your values. Up to a certain point it is possible to absorb small numbers of such peoples to do the jobs which you do not want to do. This may be necessary and even advantageous. Many of your nations are really a composite of waves of immigrants. But enough is enough. Your culture will be submerged by these ‘waves’. Your identity will be lost. Yours jobs will be stolen, your daughters seduced. You must protect yourself and cleanse yourself.
We have great experience in this field since our Holy Father presided over many experiments to cleanse the blood of the Holy Nations which he controlled. The Spanish, Italian and other national governments searched out the impure blood of outsiders, people who had originally contributed somewhat to these countries, but were later surplus to requirements. They expelled or placed into ghettoes the Jews, the Africans (Moors), the non-conformists from the north. ‘Pure blood’ was what was involved and all dirty blood had to be drained away.
We advise you to do the same thing. It may be a little late to eradicate those impure lumps in your midst, the Indians, Bangladeshis, Ugandan Asian, peoples from the Caribbean and so on. The calls to ‘send them back to where they came from’ sound a little hollow when they were mostly born and brought up here. But you can stop the flow. The new threat to your purity, as you know well, are the fresh ‘waves’ of asylum seekers. To these must be added a new wave of educational migrants, hordes of Chinese, Japanese, Koreans and others who come over to learn about your society, then either stay and take your jobs, or go back with your technological secrets to their countries.
So, be on your guard against all these. Set very low quotas for educational immigrants. Devise clever rules requiring those who want to seek asylum to read the notices in English (a language they often do not speak) warning them to apply for asylum as they arrive during the chaotic and traumatic fifteen minute walk from their planes to immigration. If they fail to apply immediately, ship them home for breaking that condition. Think about transit camps, as I gather you are already doing, perhaps an island off Australia, as the Australians have done, or in some other distant land. There people can be held indefinitely in asylum camps or in other remote areas. There are innumerable methods open to you once you have plucked up courage.
You must never let the consideration that you are cutting your creativity, diversity and energy by keeping out large groups of people who have in the past made you what you are, deflect you from this worthy track. Such an argument never deterred the Spanish and they were prepared to sacrifice their cultural, economic and social system and see their Empire stagnate in order to follow the holy path of the pure blood of a Christian civilization. You should be prepared to make the same sacrifice and if necessary watch the creativity of diversity go elsewhere.
Nor should you let any sentimental attachments to international conventions or the history of tolerance and accepting refugees sway your judgement. It was all very well when Hitler was on the rampage and your parents brought you over. But now you are too crowded, too frightened, too moral to follow that example. We cannot afford the luxury of international conventions or the due process of law. You are, let us remind you, in a war. The countries from which these people are now coming are often ruled by wicked governors who are part of the Evil conspiracy. The asylum or job seekers themselves are often not Christians. Imagine if boat-loads of Saracens had arrived in France or England trying to escape the massacres of Tamburlaine and the Mongols in the fourteenth century. They would have got short shrift and been lucky only to be sent packing.
You now have a perfectly valid and good reason for pulling up the draw-bridge. Every asylum seeker is a potential spy, terrorist, underminer of your way of life. You are at war. Boatloads of Germans in 1941 would not have been any less welcome. Send them home, spread stories of their vices and their evil. Starve them of all support if they are here so they are forced into crime, and then use their misbehaviour as evidence that they should never have been let in the first place.
It is all a matter of principle. You got here first. You have worked to build this place up. Your comforts and securities must come first – and last. Charity begins and, I am afraid in this case, ends at home. You are pure (or have become purified from your mongrel origins through time) and must not be sullied.
That self-murder is always evil
Finally, there is the last example we’d like to give, that is the morality of death, or rather keeping alive. The basis of all your thoughts and morality must be a rigid distinction between life – which is God-given – and death, which is the work of Satan. ‘Thou shalt not kill’ was one of the Ten Commandments and it applies at both ends of the life cycle. ‘Thou shalt not kill’ an unborn child, or even a sperm cell, or a part of an embryo (so no stem cell research please). And thou shalt not kill at the other end, you must not help people to die or to practice ‘euthanasia’, that sly word meaning a ‘good death’, as if aiding people to murder (even themselves) could ever be good.
Of course ‘thou shalt not kill’ only applies to the redeemed and the saved. It is permitted to kill the wicked minions of Satan, the enemies whose cities you bomb or children you kill. Likewise you can kill the internal monsters, the criminals who do Satan’s will and should, as we mentioned, be executed. But other killing (apart from the decimation of animals of course) is always wrong.
So do not let a squeamish softness seduce you. Even if a person is terminally ill, with no hope of a decent life, in great pain, and she and all her loved ones entreat that she be allowed to die in dignity and at the time of her choice, this must never be allowed. Who are we to extinguish the spark that God has sent before his merciful hand extinguishes it?
God has counted every hair on your heads. He knows of the death of every sparrow. He has numbered your days and we have no right to shorten them for your own selfish purposes. Suicide has always been a serious crime in Christianity and for good reason. It questions God’s love and his mercy. It asks whether the pain and hopelessness you sometimes feel is for a purpose.
Of course it is. You need to feel God’s rod on your backs as Christ felt the scourge on his back and the nails in his hands and feet. If He could suffer and die at God’s will, so can we. Let there be no more talk of euthanasia or such-like. Let Christ’s kingdom defend your lives, as God gave us, without question or alternative. Black and white must never be mixed. Grey, mixtures of any kind, are intolerable. You must live in a clear, certain and secure world. You must get back to fundamentals and absolutes and cleanse this world of all the wicked compromises and false tolerance which the Devil has whispered into the ears of the so-called liberals.